i wish...

...that my life wasn't such a sucky fucking mess. that i have more control over my own life. that i don't freak out over the smallest issues.

MA1102R is screwed up. EL3203 is screwed up. cors sucks. logistics is screwed up. sep has not replied me. i hate nus (in case you didn't know by now)

meeting with khoo tonight. meeting with nus choir on friday. meeting with kwei next saturday. meeting with my brochure and souvenior committee TBD. i hate meetings btw. in fact, i kinda hate anything that forces me to leave anonymity.

sometimes i wonder if i should have taken on the post at church/school. maybe it's too much for someone like me. maybe i should be like sumi. don't involve myself in anything at all. go to school, work the system then get out.

couldn't sleep so got up at 1am to nwc "sound of silence". it's one of those songs that individually sound sucky but together is really cool. i'm going to die doing nwcs this sem. it took me half an hour for that one song.

i'm not surviving in this world.

"help me, have mercy on me, set my soul free and let the bell in my heart ring, This is my cry, this is my plea. i need an angel, send me an angel down" - Ruben Studdard 'I need an Angel'.

happy thought: MA2101 has appeared on ivle. i won't be surprised if i'm the only arts fac person in the class. joseph is in my class. thank god for the little favours. we'll stop/speed up each other going mad.




mood: frustrated
listening to: the water is wide - jane siberry